By  on June 26, 2013

“I have nothing to wear.” You’ve thought it, you’ve said it, but have you ever really meant it? Have you ever really had absolutely nothing to wear?

Usually, the nothing-to-wear mantra relates to a dress-to-impress event — a wedding, a black-tie shindig, perhaps a job interview or class reunion. You claim to have nothing to wear, but really, you have something to wear. Maybe not something as chic/current/flattering/interesting/other adjective as you’d like, but you have something to wear. The classic (read boring) column or its antithesis, last year’s major runway look that screams (at least to a fashion crowd) its date of origin. The sheath that’s gotten a little too tight or (if you’re lucky) a little too loose, but is manageable either way. The career suit you can’t believe you ever bought, let alone kept. Really, you have something to wear.

Unlike you, I have nothing to wear. I say that sans exaggeration. Honestly, for what I now realize is the first time ever (despite countless past invocations of the phrase), I have nothing to wear. Nothing.

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