You’re committed to doing a big runway show. But the clothes stink, you know it and you’re desperate for a major diversion. In other words, you need somebody to suck up all the attention in the room and guarantee TV and tabloid coverage — without mention of a single outfit. Since your chances of getting Dick Cheney to show up are somewhat limited, here are some other suggestions of who to turn to:

Martha Stewart

Jack and Suzy

(Welch and Wetlaufer, that is, with their great big GE-financed clothing budget)

Anna Nicole Smith

(with doggie, attorney and camera crew)

Liza, Michael and Liz

(and Liza’s hubby too)

Winona Ryder

(seated, of course, with Jacqui Lividini)

The Soprano Family

Bill and Hillary (but only if they’re together)

Prince William (or Harry)


Mary McFadden


Tom and Nicole

Condoleezza Rice

Bruce Springsteen

The Olsen twins

(especially at Heatherette)

Rosie O’Donnell

Derek Jeter

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