"Is this Montauk Highway or Mulholland Drive?" joked a guest entering Bamboo, the East Hampton restaurant where performance artist Michael Counts and his company, GAle GAtes et al., staged "(what) in the world," a cryptic spectacle straight out of a David Lynch film, at Saturday’s Guild Hall benefit.

As guests like Stephen Dorff, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Natalie Leeds and Chris Heinz filed past listless performers posing beneath gigantic cartoon-like conversation bubbles, Betsey Johnson stood transfixed by the installation.

"I feel like I’m back in the Eighties at Area," she said, wide-eyed.

Guild Hall’s curator, Simon Taylor, had a different take.

"It’s a witty commentary on the Hamptons — symbolic of the distraction of the upper class," he explained.

But it was Bettina Zilkha who nursed a case of serious distraction. Piaget, the evening’s sponsor, carted in $20 million worth of jewels, $500,000 of which were around her neck — at least, until Jeff Klein decided the bauble looked much better on him.

"I’m totally ghetto fabulous tonight," laughed Klein, gleaming as he modeled the diamond necklace.

"Give it back," Zilkha finally demanded. "Before they send me the bill.

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