“It’s huge. It’s going to be such a sh-t show. The greatest show on earth is going to happen!”

That’s Lady Gaga speaking, to anyone who will listen, two-and-a-half hours before she’s due to walk in Mugler’s fall runway show at Gymnase Japy, an old gymnasium in Paris’ 11th arrondissement. The singer, dressed in a sheer black Maison Martin Margiela dress over a black bra and black underwear with her hair in an upswept beehive, is in tutorial mode. House creative director (and Gaga stylist) Nicola Formichetti is showing her how to vamp her way through the arch-filled runway. He writhes against one column like it’s a stripper pole. She follows and does her own take, in sky-high wedges. “The zeitgeist is here,” she utters, eventually being shuttled off to a private room backstage, aka locker room number three.

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