Spending time at your childhood home over the holidays is wonderful—the first day or two. Then you need help. With that in mind, let us present an assortment of everything you’ll need to make it through, all of which will fit in the black Tom Ford duffel ($4,610) in the upper-left-hand corner.
On the far left is a woven Bottega Veneta slipper ($530), so your feet will be comfortable as you listen to Mom’s third husband explain the ins and outs of the shotgun offense. Close by is the Armand Diradourian eye patch and pillow ($215) to help you survive the cramped coach cabin during the flight there. The festive Ralph Lauren tartan socks ($18) are a surefire gift; take a dozen. The Best Made Company flask ($98) fits in almost any pocket—step away from the table for a fortifying sip or two. Or three.
The Turnbull & Asser handkerchief ($98) is for the copious tears you will cry on night three (in your old bedroom, with the Smiths poster on the wall). The Comme des Garçons Super Fluo pouch ($106) is the place to stash the pills (prescription!) to keep your mood aloft. The Mont Blanc Meisterstuck pen ($935) and Smythson Panama notebook ($80) will allow you, late at night, to scribble the thoughts you could not utter during the day.
The BeoPlay H6 headphones ($399) block out the outside world completely. Plug them into your iPad, which is protected from the grimy hands of inquisitive preschool-age nephews in a Pierre Hardy iPad Mini case ($195); the Adopted white/gold leather wrap case ($40) keeps your iPhone 6 safe.
The Cire Trudon Nazareth candle ($105) will assist you in your attempt at a spiritual moment once the festivities have died down—a process helped along by the Paul Morelli necklace and meditation bell ($17,050). Ommm.
The collapsible Ghurka tray ($175) holds precious items, including the Cartier bracelet ($4,650). Also pictured: Our fashion director’s Rolex Datejust watch ($7,150).
Here we have a pair of Dior Homme Black Tie sunglasses ($490) to hide your eyes the morning after a rough night, and a Maiden Noir beanie ($30) for melancholy strolls through your old hometown. The Bond No. 9 Tola ($300) cologne will conceal the smell of desperation.
Finally, the red Mark Cross card wallet ($495) will hold the driver’s license you no longer need to show at the tavern in town; and, voilà, to give you a close shave or just to fill your head with amusingly morbid fantasies of ending it all, the Baxter of California x Base Camp straight razor ($350).