Princess Caroline of Monaco is not pregnant; she’s just been eating too much. Recent pictures of the beauty in a bikini, showing her with a slightly bulging tummy, have led to rumors that she might be expecting, through the courtesy of Vincent Lindon, her lover of the past three years. Caroline must have seen the pictures too, because she’s now on a diet, hoping to lose the 15 pounds she’s gained in the past year.

She’s also back on cigarettes. She had cut down to half a pack, but now it’s more like two. Stress — it’s all stress. Stress is one of the reasons she persuaded her father, Prince Ranier, to go with her to a French spa in Baule to take those sea water treatments some Europeans are so mad about.

Why is Caroline so stressed? Her friends say it’s because she wants to marry Vincent Lindon, but that Lindon is dawdling. It’s not that he’s not in love with Caroline, but because Ranier has set so many conditions before he’ll sanction the marriage. Lindon must relinquish any claims to custody of Caroline’s children, her own three, and any they might have together. Lindon must give up claims to any inheritance. Lindon, an actor, must not take on any film roles without Ranier’s prior approval. Lindon, Jewish, must turn Catholic. Must, must, must. Must not, must not, must not. Lindon studied catechism for a while, but now he’s not too sure he wants to become a practicing Catholic when he’s not even a practicing Jew.

Then there’s the little matter of his renewed friendship with Claude Chirac, the daughter of Jacques Chirac, the mayor of Paris. That was a long, long romance once, and sometimes those things never quite go away.

So now the rumors abound that Caroline and her actor have separated, and that neither is prepared to back down. (Your tummy would probably stick out too.)

As for Princess Stephanie, she’s always been a thorn in daddy’s side. With two children out of wedlock and a lover, Daniel Ducrat, Ranier won’t even speak to, Stephanie’s lot is pretty ghastly. After three days of Caroline’s urging, Ranier finally succumbed and paid a five-minute visit to Stephanie’s new baby, Pauline Grace, in the middle of the night when Ducrat wasn’t at the hospital. Pardon me, Shakespeare, but there’s something rotten in the state of Monaco.

In spite of all this, Ranier celebrated his birthday quietly Wednesday at the palace, opening presents and then taking off for his house in the mountains above Monte Carlo. Oh, and he didn’t take Prince Albert with him.

This year’s Just One Break dinner dance at the Plaza was one of the best ever, with Norma Dana, Orin Lehman and Eben Pyne doing the chairing, and Carroll Petrie as guest of honor, all in white, with a Chanel top and a Dior bottom — or was it the other way around? Carroll accepted J.O.B.’s award for humanitarian achievement on behalf of herself and her husband, Milton, one of New York’s top philanthropists. Philip Baloun made the ballroom look like an oasis by moonlight, tented overhead and decorated with fantasy palms twinkling with jeweled lights. You would have loved it.

Everyone was there — Emelia and Pepe Fanjul of all that sugar (they gave their own dinner for 90 the following night, but more about that next week), Jane and Guilford Dudley, Thorunn Wathne with Harry Platt, Julio Mario Santo Domingo, Pat Patterson, Carolina and Reinaldo Herrera, Anne and James Sitrick, Carolyn and William Chaney, Khalil Rizk, Mary Meehan, Laura McCloy, the Robert Fomons from Palm Beach, Pat and Marquette de Bary, Jackie and Nicky Drexel, Karen and Richard LeFrak, Charlie Dana, who presented the award to Carroll, Barbara and Tommy Bancroft, Alyne Massey, Adair Beutel, Mai Hallingby, Brunie McKnight and on and on into the palms.

In San Francisco, they’re in the midst of a cultural celebration with all sorts of social garniture. The San Francisco Symphony kicked off its three-week French Festival, a giddy time in the city, with a very exclusive private recital and dinner at Ann and Gordon Getty’s beautiful house in Pacific Heights. Maybe that should be at one of their beautiful houses in Pacific Heights, because the Gettys bought the house right next door to their original Sister Parish-decorated mansion, joined the two houses together, completely gutted and re-did the new one — decorator: Ann Getty — and the little party was the first glimpse anyone had of the new place. Simply marvelous, particularly music-lover and composer Gordon’s magnificent new music room, complete with dark red beaded curtains and, of course, sensational acoustics. And who better to inaugurate the lovely chamber than Jessye Norman, striking in a red dress, singing Debussy and Richard Strauss for 80 guests before dinner in the courtyard.

In the crowd were such as Russian maestro Valery Gergiev, who will conduct the French Festival with such guests as Jessye, Samuel Ramey and Frederica von Stade; Denise and Prentis Cobb Hale (Denise has underwritten the first week of the Festival); Veronica and Randolph Hearst and Nancy Bechtle, the president of the Symphony and her husband Joachim, who gave a little dinner for Denise at San Francisco’s chic-est restaurant, Stars, after the opening night concert, inviting such as Jessye, Gergiev, the Gettys, the Hearsts and San Francisco Mayor Frank Jordan and Mrs. Jordan.

Then it was the Hales’ turn. In honor of Veronica and Randy Hearst and their little visit in S.F., Denise and Prentis gave their own dinner for 24 at Stars. Denise wore Gianfranco Ferre’s off-white dinner jacket and black pants; Veronica wore Chanel’s short dark blue dinner jacket with a white blouse, a white satin tie, black and white striped pants and a cummerbund and Ann Getty wore Saint Laurent’s snappy tuxedo. No skirts for these trend-setters. Among the other guests were Danielle Steel and John Traina, the Frank Jordans, Nancy and Joachim Bechtle, Margaret and Will Hearst, Dodie Rosekrans, Ken Rainin, Nancy and Paul Pelosi and Sally Jordan, whose settlement is now final after her divorce from Tom Jordan of the famed Jordan Winery. Sally got loads of money, but Tom got the winery — and a new wife, Sondra.

The AmFAR benefit, “Takin’ It to the Street,” set for Wednesday at Manhattan Center, is, according to chairmen Gayfryd Steinberg and Carolyne Roehm, going to be “way cool.” Robert Isabell is doing the decor, there will be feather boas for the ladies, panama hats for the men and shades for everybody. How way cool can you get. For entertainment there will be Koko Taylor and her Blues Machine, The Persuasions and The Stingers and among the guests will be Laura and Jonathan Tisch, Robert Steinberg and Mary Pope, Chessy Rayner, Arnold Scaasi, Judy and Sam Peabody, Lynn Nesbit, Georgette and Robert Mosbacher and others too way cool to mention.

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